What to Bring to Family Mediation: A Document Checklist for North Carolina Parents

Sessions that finish in one day are sessions where the documents were in the room. Here is exactly what to gather before a divorce, custody, or support mediation in North Carolina.

In this guide

1. Preparation is most of the result
2. Income and employment
3. Accounts, retirement and property
4. Debt
5. Children
6. Two things to think through
7. On the day

Preparation is most of the result

The difference between a mediation that finishes in one session and one that stalls is almost never the willingness of the parties. It is whether the documents are in the room. A mediator cannot help two people divide a retirement account when neither of them knows the balance on the date of separation, and no parenting schedule gets finalized while somebody is guessing at the cost of after-school care.

Here is the list we give families in Huntersville, Charlotte, Locust, and Albemarle before a session.

Most people spend two or three evenings on this. It is the highest-value time in the whole process.

Income and employment

• Your three most recent pay statements, and the same for your spouse if you have them.
• The last two years of tax returns, including all schedules and W-2s or 1099s.
• Documentation of bonuses, commissions, overtime, or seasonal income.
• If self-employed, a profit and loss statement and the business return.
• The cost of health insurance through your employer, and what the family coverage tier costs.

Accounts, retirement, and property

• Bank and brokerage statements covering the month of separation and the most recent month.
• Retirement statements for every account: 401(k), 403(b), IRA, TSP, state or local pension.
• A current mortgage statement and a payoff figure for the home.
• A comparative market analysis or appraisal for real estate, including any land or rental property.
• Vehicle values and loan balances.
• Life insurance policies, with cash value if any.
• Documentation of anything you believe is separate property: a pre-marital account statement, an inheritance record, a deed predating the marriage.

Debt

• Statements for every credit card, personal loan, student loan, and line of credit.
• Balances as of the date of separation, which matter more than current balances.
• Any judgments, tax liens, or medical debt.

Children

• The school calendar for the district the children attend, whether that is Charlotte-Mecklenburg, Stanly County, Cabarrus County, or Fort Mill.
• Actual monthly childcare cost, with documentation.
• Extracurricular and activity costs, including travel sports.
• Uninsured medical and dental expenses from the past year.
• Any special needs documentation, IEP or 504 plan, or therapy schedule.
• Your work schedule and your spouse's, honestly described, including on-call and travel weeks.

Rough proportions of a typical full-day family session. Cases with a business, a contested house, or a relocation shift the balance.

Two things to think through before you arrive

First, write down your priorities in order, and separate the ones that are actually about the children or your financial survival from the ones that are about being right. Most people can name two or three things that genuinely matter. Everything else is available for trade, and knowing which is which in advance is what makes a settlement possible.

Second, know your alternative. If this does not settle, what happens? How long until a hearing in your county, what will it cost, and what is the realistic range of outcomes a judge might order? A mediator cannot give you legal advice about that, which is exactly why parties often consult their own attorney beforehand. Walking in with a clear-eyed view of the alternative is what turns a stalled negotiation into a signed agreement.

On the day

Eat something. Bring a phone charger and a notepad. Arrange childcare so nobody is watching the clock. Expect a joint discussion and private conversations with the mediator, and expect the middle hours to feel slow. Bring a pen you do not mind signing with, because most sessions end with a document.

Not sure what applies to your case?

Call or text and we will tell you what matters for your situation before you spend an evening gathering paperwork. Offices in Huntersville and Locust, North Carolina, with online sessions available.

☎ Call (704) 231-5762Text (704) 231-5762Send a Message

Offices: 9620 Sherrill Estates Road, Huntersville, NC 28078 and 217 W. Main Street, Locust, NC 28097. Virtual sessions available.

Frequently asked questions

What if I cannot get my spouse's documents?

Bring what you have. A mediator can work with partial information and identify what still needs to be exchanged, and in a filed case formal discovery is available.

Do I need a lawyer to mediate?

No, but many people consult one before or during mediation. A mediator is a neutral and cannot advise either party.

How long does a session take?

Many family sessions take a half day. Cases with a business or contested real estate can take a full day or a second session.

Can we mediate online?

Yes. Online sessions use separate breakout rooms and work well for parents in different counties or states.

Keep reading

• Divorce mediation document checklist
• How to prepare for mediation
• Property, alimony and support mediation
• Mediation questions and answers

This article provides general information about mediation in North Carolina and South Carolina. It is not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney–client relationship. As a mediator, Christopher Adkins serves as a neutral and does not represent or advise either party. Statutes and court rules change, so consult a licensed attorney about your specific situation.