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Certification, experience, cost, safety, preparation, and what happens after an impasse: the questions worth asking before you book a session. The questions that actually matter
Warning signsBe cautious with a mediator who guarantees an outcome, who gives one side legal advice, who pressures a party to sign, or who cannot explain how confidentiality works. Mediation depends on neutrality; anything that undermines it undermines the agreement you sign. Why local experience helpsA mediator who knows the Charlotte region understands the things that decide practical questions: how long an I-77 commute takes at 5:30, that Charlotte-Mecklenburg and Fort Mill calendars do not match, how Stanly County land gets divided, and how cases move in Mecklenburg, Cabarrus, Iredell, Stanly, and York County courts. About our mediatorChris Adkins is an attorney and certified mediator in North Carolina and South Carolina, with offices at 9620 Sherrill Estates Road in Huntersville and 217 W. Main Street in Locust. He mediates family, civil, business, and estate disputes, in person and by secure video. Call or text (704) 231-5762, or read more about his background. Talk with a mediator about your situationMediation Solutions helps families, businesses, and litigants in Huntersville, Charlotte, Locust, Albemarle, Rock Hill, and Fort Mill resolve disputes privately. Call or text to ask about scheduling, fees, and whether mediation fits your case. Offices: 9620 Sherrill Estates Road, Huntersville, NC 28078 and 217 W. Main Street, Locust, NC 28097. Virtual sessions available. Frequently asked questionsDoes a mediator have to be a lawyer?No. North Carolina certifies both attorney and non-attorney mediators for some programs. What matters is certification, training, and experience with your type of case. Can a mediator give us legal advice?No. A mediator is neutral. Each party should consult their own attorney about legal questions. How do we split the fee?Usually equally, unless the parties agree otherwise or a court orders a different split. This article provides general information about mediation in North Carolina and South Carolina. It is not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney–client relationship. As a mediator, Christopher Adkins serves as a neutral and does not represent or advise either party. Statutes and court rules change, so consult a licensed attorney about your specific situation.
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Contract, construction, partnership, and lease disputes resolved privately for businesses in Charlotte, Concord, Mooresville, Huntersville, and Locust. A faster answer than a lawsuitBusiness disputes in the Charlotte region rarely benefit from a courtroom. Litigation is public, slow, and expensive, and it takes owners away from running the company. Mediation offers a confidential day, a neutral who understands both the law and the practical business problem, and the ability to build a settlement that includes terms a judge could never order: a payment plan, future work at an agreed rate, a revised scope, or a clean separation between partners. Disputes we mediate
If a case is already filedNorth Carolina requires mediated settlement conferences in most superior court civil actions, so if your dispute is in Mecklenburg, Cabarrus, Iredell, Union, or Stanly County Superior Court, mediation is coming either way. The only question is whether you do it early, before discovery costs mount, or late. Mediator Chris Adkins is certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission for superior court civil actions and by South Carolina for circuit court, which helps when a party or contract crosses the state line into York County. Preparing your business
Settlement terms worth asking forPayment schedules with interest and acceleration, security for the obligation, mutual releases, confidentiality and non-disparagement, revised contract terms going forward, and a joint statement to employees or customers if reputation is at stake. These terms are why a mediated business settlement often ends better than a judgment that is difficult to collect. SchedulingCall or text (704) 231-5762, or read the contract dispute guide and the guide to partner and LLC disputes. Talk with a mediator about your situationMediation Solutions helps families, businesses, and litigants in Huntersville, Charlotte, Locust, Albemarle, Rock Hill, and Fort Mill resolve disputes privately. Call or text to ask about scheduling, fees, and whether mediation fits your case. Offices: 9620 Sherrill Estates Road, Huntersville, NC 28078 and 217 W. Main Street, Locust, NC 28097. Virtual sessions available. Frequently asked questionsCan we mediate before filing suit?Yes, and pre-suit mediation is usually the least expensive path. Many contracts require it. Who should attend for our company?Someone with authority to settle. Approvals sought mid-session usually stall the negotiation. Is the process confidential?Mediation communications are generally protected from use as evidence, and settlement terms are usually confidential by agreement. This article provides general information about mediation in North Carolina and South Carolina. It is not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney–client relationship. As a mediator, Christopher Adkins serves as a neutral and does not represent or advise either party. Statutes and court rules change, so consult a licensed attorney about your specific situation.
Separation leads to conflict - there is no way around it. In any separation, opposing parties have different wants and interests. They both feel they are entitled to certain things. The ultimate goal is getting resolution, and ending the conflict. The attorney’s role in separation is helping a party achieve resolution with favorable results. This is not always easy, and it is rare for either party to get exactly what they are seeking. Finding middle ground and compromising is often the key to reaching resolution. The mediator's role is facilitating the conversation and negotiations that lead to agreement and resolution. The important thing is understanding what you are likely entitled to, and what you are asking for – seeking more than you would likely end up with is a recipe for disappointment as you will feel like you are losing with every compromise.
Traditional negotiation strategies focus on four basic tenets:
Traditional negotiation strategy is a very logical, rational way of jointly achieving conflict resolution. This approach is a problem-solving method that places a systematic emphasis on reaching an agreement. The problem is traditional, logical, rational negotiation strategy is not very effective – in practice it rarely works. Traditional negotiation strategy appeals to academics, but it is removed from the emotions that exist at a negotiation table. This approach makes the assumption that people are not animalistic, unreliable, and irrational beings. It is not easy, for example, to place objective value on time with your children, dividing the belongings in your home you have shared with your family, or paying support to the ex-spouse that cheated on you. Instead of rational thought, emotions come into play, which make it nearly impossible to not be concerned about the other side’s position. It is very clear – emotionally driven negotiations cannot be approached with rational bargaining methods. So what is the solution to successful negotiation? How do I get the outcome I want and need from my own divorce? To begin with, emphasis must be removed from quid pro quo bargaining and problem solving. Instead, emotions, and learning to use them to your benefit, are central to effective negotiation. Emphasis needs to be placed on calming people down, establishing rapport, gaining trust, expressing the needs of your position, and empathetic persuasion. Ask questions like “What are you going through?” “How does that make you feel?” and “How am I supposed to do that?” Introducing emotion into a rational mindset can modify response. Emotions and instincts are much more powerful than logic and can influence rational thought. Changing the behavior and shifting the emotional environment of the other party can help you obtain the outcome you need. So before you attempt to negotiate your separation, consider not just what makes sense logically in determining how to divide assets and debts, paying or receiving support, and a child custody arrangement that works best for all parties, but consider what emotional triggers and desires the other party has – try to figure out what they are really interested in and what they really want. Use that understanding to build a plan that works for everyone involved. Conflict is often the path to great deals, and at some point every negotiation gets down to old-fashioned haggling. The important thing to remember is that to successfully negotiate, you have to be prepared – and that means better knowing and understanding the rational and emotional aspects of the other party. To learn more about negotiation techniques and strategy, consider reading and reviewing the following books: Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher and William Ury Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People, William Ury Bargaining For Advantage, Richard Shell Beyond Winning, Robert Mnookin Start With NO, Jim Camp No: The Only Negotiating System You’ll Ever Need, Jim Camp Making Money Talk: How To Mediate Insured Claims And Other Monetary Disputes, J. Anderson Little Wired for Conflict, Sondra S. VanSant Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, Chris Voss Getting Ready To Negotiate, Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel Getting Together: Building Relationships As We Negotiate, Roger Fisher You Just Don’t Understand, Deborah Tannen Talking From 9 To 5, Deborah Tannen In A Different Voice, Carol Gilligan Games People Play, Eric Berne The Magic Of Rapport, Jerry Richardson The Human Factor At Work, Eric Oliver Influencing With Integrity, Genie Z. Laborde Control Theory, William Glasser Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way To Influence And Persuade, Robert Cialdini Influence: The Psychology Of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini If you are interested in learning more about mediation, and the mediation process, please contact Mediation Solutions. We are located in Huntersville, NC, and are glad to offer a complimentary consultation to see if we may be of service to you. |
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