Pick someone you like and get along with! Choosing a divorce mediator can be difficult. First of all, who is available in your area, and does their availability match mine. But, most importantly, is this a person I want to trust to help us negotiate and resolve our separation, divorce, and/or custody issues? Do I like and trust this person? Is this person competent, experienced, and trained in handling matters such as these? Choosing a mediator you do not get a good initial vibe from can be a recipe for disaster.
Secondly, consider what experience and training your mediator has. A lot of divorce mediators are not lawyers and have no idea about the law, or the current state of our court system. This is valuable because a mediator with this type of experience can provide you with real world options and scenarios of what may happen in the event this action goes to court. Divorce mediators without this type of experience often have no idea of what can happen if you are unable to reach an agreement. Consider whether your divorce and separation mediator is also a licensed attorney with experience with similar matters.
Finally, what is this going to cost me? And, you should not get a vague response to this. Seriously, how much am I going to be paying for divorce mediation costs, and is this going to be worth it versus going to court? Many mediators will not give you a straight answer on this - well it depends is a common response. Instead, demand to know upfront how much your fees will be, and how much time, effort, and money you are going to devote to this process. While mediation is often highly successful, not all cases settle, and you need to be aware of your expenses, and the cost / benefit analysis, of attempting to settle your case before litigation. Please be aware that mediation is almost always the less expensive option versus going to court, spending a lot of money, and letting a judge who barely knows you decide the outcome of what could be your financial future, and / or child custody and support obligation. Once an order is set, it is not easily set aside or modifiable.
Family Mediation LLC is located in Huntersville NC and provides mediation services for a wide array of issues, but primarily for those involving family law, diving marital assets, setting spousal support (if necessary), and determining and implementing child support. Contact us if you wish to schedule a consultation.
At Family Mediation LLC, we understand how difficult separation and divorce can be. Our goal is to help you resolve your issues in an efficient manner, keeping your expenses reasonable, without involving lawyers and the court system. If you are considering separation and divorce, contact Mediation LLC to arrange your complimentary mediation consultation.
Mediation is a process where couples contemplating separation and divorce meet with a neutral, third-party facilitator to assist in resolving their family law issues. Typically, a family mediator will assist the parties in determining how to divide marital assets and marital debts, whether alimony is appropriate, and if so in what amount and for how long, and what child custody arrangement and support is in the best interests of any minor children.
Upon determining that divorce mediation is a good option for the couple, they set an initial consultation with a mediator. The mediator may want to request specific financial information from the parties to assist them at their first mediation session in advance. At the initial mediation session, the mediator will facilitate a discuss and negotiations between the parties, in the hopes of resolving all outstanding separation issues. This may take a matter of hours, and it may take the entire day. At the conclusion of the initial mediation session, parties are typically provided with an outline of what agreements have been made.
The mediator will typically memorialize these agreements into a Memorandum of Understanding or a Mediated Settlement Agreement. At the follow mediation sessions, the parties will review the separation documents with the divorce mediator, to ensure that everyone is in agreement. Following the execution of the separation documents, the parties have an enforceable contract.
To ensure that the agreements are enforceable as a matter of law, a neutral attorney may be required to memorialize the separation documents into a Separation and Property Settlement Agreement, and Consent Order for Child Custody and Child Support. This is best practice, as it ensures that not only the elements of the negotiated equitable distribution and spousal support are enforceable by breach of contract, but that the elements and agreements concerning child custody and child support are enforceable via the court’s power of contempt.
Mediation is the best process to getting resolution in separation and divorce matters. No other process is as fast, cost effective, efficient, and allows the parties to retain control of their own matters. Family Mediation LLC is located in Huntersville NC and provides divorce mediation services to couples going through the separation process. If you are interested in discussing and/or arranging a separation or divorce mediation, contact Family Mediation LLC to arrange a complimentary separation consultation.
If you are contemplating separation and divorce, or have issues regarding child custody, consider mediation before you take your spouse to court. Mediation allows you to get results faster, save money, and control the outcome of your case. Lawyers and judges are not required, and at the conclusion you have enforceable documents outlining the terms of your separation. This is especially important for couples who will be co-parenting upon their separation. Co-parenting can be very difficult when you are trying to do so with someone you do not get along with. Mediation reduces the amount of drama and conflict surrounding your separation, which allows for better co-parenting relationships going forward. Contact Family Mediation LLC if you want to arrange a free consultation with a family mediator. Mediation LLC offers family and divorce mediation services in Huntersville NC.
It is well known that the divorce rate in the United Stated hovers around 40-50 percent. Thus, divorce can be an unfortunate fact of life despite everyone’s best efforts to make married life work. Plus, divorce affects everyone involve from the spouses to the children involved. So, you want to use the best and most peaceful method of divorce for everyone’s mental and physical well-being. That is where divorce mediation comes into play.
Mediation is a better method of settling divorce cases when compared to other methods, notably litigation. Despite what we see on TV or read in the news, divorce can be a smooth experience depending on how you and your spouse handle it. Whether you’re not compatible with your spouse or know divorce is the right move, mediation could be a great way to see you through with minimum difficulty.
Below are five important reasons why you should choose mediation over litigation
1. Cost Effective
If you have ever been a party in a litigation or know someone who has, you will know the path to resolution can be tough, costly and the outcome is never certain. For example, in June 2008, a Wall Street journal article revealed that the average cost of litigating a divorce is circa $78,000 while the average cost of a mediated divorce is less than $7,000. That is a large difference and can make the divorce less contentious and more affordable.
2. Less Stress
The litigation process is long, arduous, and grueling. Summons, complaints, petitions, responses, discovery, and possible investigations are all process oriented, which means they have their own unique timeline you have to surrender to. Mediation is less drawn out than litigation. It does not require parties to be represented by attorneys, and does not require judges to make decisions. You control the ability to make your own decisions. Even if the differences are non-reconcilable, mediation provides a stress-free civilized discourse for an orderly property division, child support or alimony as the case may be.
3. Level of Neutrality
A mediator is an uninterested, unbiased neutral facilitator. They have no interest in the outcome of the process, they are right in the middle. Their only interest is to help the parties reach a sustainable agreement that caters for each parties’ interest and concerns. In litigation, you face the stress of a lawyer who may be seeking a nice payday rather than the best outcome.
4. Sense of Control
Who is in a better positioned to call the shots in relation to the future of your family: you or a Judge? It’s much better to spend your time resolving your future with your spouse and a trained professional. Mediation allows for greater control over the process. Besides, when people have a resolution imposed on them by a higher authority, it’s human nature for them to engage so called “dirty play” to get their desired outcome. When you attend and actively participate in mediation, you and the other party retain control over your case. You don’t place your case, and what could be a large part of your future, in the hands of a third party to make a decision.
Divorce proceedings come with testimony and that can become public record. It means that every secret that was sacred and all your dirty laundry exposed in the proceeding is now up for public knowledge. That can become hurtful to all involved and cause deep divides between family members. Mediation is surreptitious as you won’t have to worry about the impact of your decisions on your business, reputation, public image, or those you care for.
At Family Mediation LLC, we understand separation and divorce happens. We understand the process of separation and divorce, and how divorce can hurt and be painful on a very raw level. Thus, we aim to help you use mediation as a means to get your divorce done as smoothly and cleanly as possible. That means providing an experience where the feeling leaves you breathing easy and not feeling like you are a ping-pong ball being hurled about by the paddles of lawyers and judges. Contact us today to get your free consultation and learn how we can help! We are located in Huntersville NC and serve the greater Charlotte and Lake Norman area.
What is the fastest and easiest way to get divorced? Mediation! Mediation allows you to control the outcome of your case. You don't have to pay a divorce attorney thousands of dollars to let a judge decide the outcome. You can take control; you can save time and money and mediate your divorce with a divorce mediator. Family Mediation LLC is located in Huntersville NC and serves the greater Charlotte area. Contact Family Mediation LLC to arrange a free divorce mediation consultation.
A divorce or separation is never easy. It hurts to know that someone you were once committed to spending the rest of your life with may not actually be what you want in your life anymore. It can be challenging to realize that the ‘together, always and forever’ belief between couples is broken.
Sometimes, it even gets messy with one or both sides blaming each other and hanging on the other's throat, maybe to mourn what was. No one is thinking straight, fingers are pointed and accusations are thrown around because, let's be honest, it hurts and can make life more complicated.
It is in times like this that you need to call on a mediator. Mediation is one of the most frequently used methods of negotiating a divorce settlement. In divorce mediation, you and your spouse—or, in some cases, the two of you and your respective lawyers—hire a neutral third party, called a mediator, to meet with you in an effort to discuss and resolve the issues in your divorce. The mediator doesn't make decisions for either party but helps the couple come to terms that both sides can agree on.
A mediator helps couples communicate effectively and make the necessary agreements about the children, partner maintenance, child maintenance and other matters. Sometimes agreements come easy, sometimes they take time and a lot of work. When agreements are hard to reach, that is when the mediator intervenes. It is the mediator’s job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, reality test the couple, teach empathy and assist the couple in their decision making process. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand, trying not to get them off track. When divorcing couples get off track and away from the above issues during mediation, arguing, name-calling and bad prior memories are brought up.
Mediation is the best way to go during a separation or divorce because
● Divorce mediation is the most child-focused of all divorce options;
● Mediation can help you get through your divorce in less time;
● Divorce mediation is the most flexible of the divorce methods, allowing you to control the pace of your divorce and the terms of your settlement;
● Divorce mediators empower both you and your spouse to create an agreement that meets your unique needs, allowing each of you to get what you want, need and deserve in order to move forward with your lives.
● Mediation is tailored specifically to your situation and is aimed at making agreements that suit both parties.
Rather than working against each other, you and your spouse will be working cooperatively toward an agreement that is equitable to both of you. This will preserve your ability to work together in the future as parenting partners if you have children, and reduce the residual resentment and anger that usually accompany the win-lose litigation process.
Mediation strives to protect the self-esteem and the dignity of all parties. Rather than looking back to assign blame, mediation looks to the future and enables both of you to begin your new lives in full control of the outcome. Divorce is still not easy though, even with mediation. But the more prepared you are, the more productive your mediation will be.
If you’re looking to discuss or start the mediation process, contact Family Mediation LLC. We are located in Huntersville NC, and are happy to offer complimentary mediation consultations.
Separation leads to conflict - there is no way around it. In any separation, opposing parties have different wants and interests. They both feel they are entitled to certain things. The ultimate goal is getting resolution, and ending the conflict. The attorney’s role in separation is helping a party achieve resolution with favorable results. This is not always easy, and it is rare for either party to get exactly what they are seeking. Finding middle ground, and compromise is often key to reaching resolution. The mediator's role is facilitating the conversation and negotiations that lead to agreement and resolution. The important thing is understanding what you are likely entitled to, and what you are asking for – seeking more than you would likely end up with is a recipe for disappointment as you will feel like you are losing with every compromise.
Traditional negotiation strategies focus on four basic tenets:
Traditional negotiation strategy is a very logical, rational way to jointly achieving conflict resolution. This approach is a problem-solving method that places a systematic emphasis on reaching an agreement. The problem is traditional, logical, rational negotiation strategy is not very effective – in practice it rarely works.
While traditional negotiation strategy is appealing to academics, they are objectively removed from the emotions that exist at a negotiation table. This approach makes the assumption that people are not animalistic, unreliable, and irrational beings. It is not easy, for example, to place objective value on time with your children, dividing the belongings in your home you have shared with your family, or paying support to the ex-spouse that cheated on you. Instead of rational thought, emotions come into play, which make it nearly impossible to not be concerned about the other side’s position. It is very clear – emotionally driven negotiations cannot be approached with rational bargaining methods.
So what is the solution to successful negotiation? How do I get the outcome I want and need from my own divorce? To begin with, emphasis must be removed from quid pro quo bargaining and problem solving. Instead, emotions, and learning to use them to your benefit, are central to effective negotiation. Emphasis needs to be placed on calming people down, establishing rapport, gaining trust, expressing the needs of your position, and empathetic persuasion. Ask questions like “What are you going through?” “How does that make you feel?” and “How am I supposed to do that?” Introducing emotion into a rational mindset can modify response. Emotions and instincts are much more powerful than logic and can influence rational thought. Changing the behavior and shifting the emotional environment of the other party can help you obtain the outcome you need.
So before you attempt to negotiate your separation, consider not just what makes sense logically in determining how to divide assets and debts, paying or receiving support, and a child custody arrangement that works best for all parties, but discuss what emotional triggers and desire the other party has – try to figure out what they are really interested in and want they really want. Use that as leverage to get what you really want and need - use that as leverage to orchestrate a plan that works best for everyone involved.
Conflict is often the path to great deals, and at some point every negotiation gets down to old-fashioned haggling. The important thing to remember is that to successfully negotiate, you have to be prepared – and that means better knowing and understanding the rational and emotional aspects of the other party.
To learn more about negotiation techniques and strategy, consider reading and reviewing the following books:
Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher and William Ury
Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People, William Ury
Bargaining For Advantage, Richard Shell
Beyond Winning, Robert Mnookin
Start With NO, Jim Camp
No: The Only Negotiating System You’ll Ever Need, Jim Camp
Making Money Talk: How To Mediate Insured Claims And Other Monetary Disputes, J. Anderson Little
Wired For Conflict, Sondra S. Vansant
Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, Chris Voss
Getting Ready To Negotiate, Roger Fisher and Danny Ertel
Getting Together: Building Relationships As We Negotiate, Roger Fisher
You Just Don’t Understand, Deborah Tannen
Talking From 9 To 5, Deborah Tannen
In A Different Voice, Carol Gilligan
Games People Play, Eric Berne
The Magic Of Rapport, Jerry Richardson
The Human Factor At Work, Eric Oliver
Influencing With Integrity, Genie Z. Laborde
Control Theory, William Glasser
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way To Influence And Persuade, Robert Cialdini
Influence: The Psychology Of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini
If you are interested in learning more about mediation, and the mediation process, please contact Family Mediation LLC! We are located in Huntersville NC, and glad to offer a complimentary consultation to see if we may be of service to you.
Before you get attorneys and judges involved in your divorce, consider divorce mediation. Meeting with a divorce mediator is a more successful, faster, less stressful, and less expensive way to settle your family law issues. If you and your spouse are contemplating separation and divorce, contact Family Mediation LLC to arrange a complimentary consultation.
Why should we consider using a mediator? For starters, it is less expensive. Attorneys typically charge thousands of dollars to help you navigate your separation and divorce. Mediation, on the other hand, can be a quick and effective way to resolve your divorce issues, without spending your entire life-savings. Mediation LLC focuses on helping couples contemplating separation and divorce, and families trying to figure out a custody arrangement, in reaching resolution. If you are separating, or need assistance in developing a custody arrangement, contact Mediation LLC to arrange a free initial consultation.